Their passion will consume everything—and everyone— in its path….
I’m on a train.
I don’t know which stop I got on at; I only know the train is going fast and the world outside becomes a blur. I should get off, but I don’t. The universe is playing a cosmic joke on me. Here I had my life—a good life with everything a woman could want—and suddenly, there is something more I didn’t know I could have. A chance for me to be satisfied and content and maybe even on occasion deliriously, amazingly, exuberantly fulfilled.
So this is where I am, on a train that’s out of control, and I am not just a passenger. I’m the one shoveling the furnace full of coal to keep it going fast and faster.
If I could make myself believe it all happened by chance and I couldn’t help it, that I’ve been swept away, that it’s not my fault, that it’s fate…would that be easier? The truth is, I didn’t know I was looking for this until I found Will, but I must’ve been, all this time. And now it is not random, it is not fate, it is not being swept away.
This is my choice. And I don’t know how to stop.
Or even if I want to.
In the popular Broadway show Wicked, two university roommates, complete opposites, end up becoming beloved friends. In one of my favorite songs from the show, Galinda and Elphaba sing a duet in which they both declare that they’re not sure if knowing each other has changed them for the better…but it changed both of them for good.
In Tear You Apart, Elisabeth and Will meet, strangers both viewing a piece of art that doesn’t impress either of them very much. From that first meeting, it’s clear the spark between them can’t be denied, no matter how much they might want to fight it. Right or wrong, and most people would say without a doubt that their relationship is wrong, Elisabeth and Will become lovers. Physical passion starts them off, but soon it’s much more than that.
Soon, there’s love.
The emotional connection changes what might’ve been a brief, torrid affair into something different. Something trying to become permanent. Elisabeth, caught in feelings she hasn’t experienced in a long time, maybe never, knows enough to try and stop herself from falling. But who can ever really stop themselves from falling in love?
“I keep telling myself this is just infatuation. That it’s not real. That we are built of sand, not brick.
I sit at my desk and stare out the window, but I don’t see anything. I don’t hear anything. I tell myself that if I stop seeing him, this all will pass. It will fade.
Oh, God, please let it fade.
This won’t last. I tell myself it can’t, of course. It started in the wrong place and keeps going even into more wrong. Something like this, with me and Will, this up, up, up, this crazy chaos, this inferno…things like that don’t last.
If I stop it now, I think while the seconds tick by and I stare and stare at my work as though it should mean something, and I can’t make the numbers line up. If I stop it now, very soon, before I know it, all that’s left will be memory. And over time, the smell of him will go away. The taste of him.
I put my fingers to my mouth and let my tongue stroke over the tips. I can still taste him. I lift my shirt to breathe against the fabric where he held me close; I can still smell him.
He is all over me like a stain.”
Tear You Apart is not a romance. It’s a love story. It’s about two people who crash into one another and can’t untangle themselves. It’s about love and loss and joy and grief and right and wrong. It’s about a lot of things, but mostly about love and the lengths we’ll go to find it and keep it. The sacrifices we make for it. It’s about what happens when we know that the person we love more than anything has changed us.
Maybe not for the better.
But definitely for good.
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